Maximizing Your Expat Experience: My Lessons-Learned and 10 Pitfalls to Avoid in Your Life and Career Abroad

It's been more than 18,5 years since I left my home country never to return to it for more than some holidays or to celebrate Christmas period with my family; somehow, almost 11 of those years have already been in the Netherlands. It has been exciting, the best experience of my life! But also often scary, uncertain, puzzling... Fortunately, I never felt lonely, which is not the case for many who embark on becoming international professionals or expatriates (or their partners following them around the world).

I do think at some point all expats feel lost (likely, more than once). Sometimes it happens right at the beginning – the scary idea of just moving out and all the logistics behind it; sometimes soon after arriving, once the ‘honeymoon period’ is gone and we start realizing we don’t have a network in this country, we don’t speak the language and don’t understand why people behave the way they do here; more and more often, once we start questioning what we are doing here and what is the path forward for us, especially but not only career-wise. We moved abroad to find a better life, to combine success and happiness and, yet, we still feel something is missing and we can’t always put our finger on it…

This is why I decided to start working with expats as a Carer and Life Coach. I’ve been through most of these hurdles, many personally, some with my friends, colleagues and now clients. The journey can be challenging but there are a few things that can make all the difference…

Hence, I am sharing with you below some of my lessons-learned – quite a few the hard way! –, so you can avoid the same mistakes and navigate your expat experience in a much more enjoyable and stress-free way.

Pitfall #1: Lack of Research About The Country & Career Opportunities

This is maybe the biggest – and earliest – mistake you can make!  Skipping research on your destination's culture, customs, and local laws, as well as job markets, industries, and career opportunities, can create misunderstandings and hinder your professional growth prospects abroad. Take time to understand these nuances. Observe how locals interact, pay attention to communication styles, and learn about social etiquette to build stronger relationships.

If you have a family, research educational options for your children. Look into local schools, international schools, or home schooling networks. Understanding the education system will help you make informed decisions for your family.

Be aware of local administrative and legal requirements related to visas, work permits, taxes, bringing your car or health insurance to avoid serious complications. Ensure you’re aware of and comply with all necessary regulations (seek professional support if needed to navigate the local bureaucracy effectively), since proper legal compliance is essential for a smooth and stress-free expatriate experience. This alone can make or break your overall experience in the first few months…

Finally but equally important, take time to understand the local employment landscape, identify growing sectors, and tailor your job search to align with local demand.

While I’ve gotten better as I moved from one country to the next, I wished I had prepared better especially for the first ones :(

Tip #1: Do Your Research... in Advance!

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Pitfall #2: Keeping a Closed Mind & Forgetting Your Purpose

Failing to challenge your existing beliefs and perspectives while also lacking a clear sense of purpose can limit your ability to adapt to new cultures, ideas, and experiences. I remember being surprised when I first realised the ‘Portuguese way’ (=my way, back then) of doing things was not the universal way (ex: how we wash the dishes or how we travel around) and there were, not only other options, but maybe even better ones that had never occurred to me before (cycling and the train is so much stress-free than driving, not to mention the impact on the environment).

It is also important to be clear about why you decided to move abroad in the first place. This is not something to hold in the back of your mind; you should actually write down on paper the personal and professional reasons, goals, dreams that led you to jump borders. Whenever you feel lost and wonder why you moved in the first place, go back to that list (though updating it after a while will be equally important).

So, maintain an open mind, stay curious, embrace new experiences, and define your personal and professional goals to stay motivated and adaptable.

Tip #2: Stay Curious, Recall Your ‘Why’

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Pitfall #3: Ignoring Professional Networking

Overlooking networking events, industry meetups, and online communities can isolate you from valuable career and personal connections. It may not feel easy to ‘mingle’ in a totally foreign environment but you have to start somewhere… Engaging with local professional networks can bring a certain sense of familiarity and provide insights into industry trends, open doors to job opportunities, and foster relationships that will support your career growth. Nowadays you are likely to find plenty of options online, though nothing beats an in-person event.

Do also acquaint yourself with local business etiquette, such as meeting protocols, dress codes, and hierarchy structures, to make a positive impression. Punctuality, for example, is extremely important in certain countries, so if you were used to the ‘academic quarter of hour’ or that being 20 minutes late was normal, think again…

Tip #3: (Re)Build (new) Professional Networks

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Pitfall #4: Overlooking Personal Development

Ignoring opportunities for skill-building, language learning, and personal growth can limit your ability to navigate daily life – as well as hinder your career advancement abroad.

Investing in personal development is not selfish or something to do when you have more time; it is essential to enhance your employability and enrich your overall experience. I always got to a level where I could at least go to the supermarket or have an informal café conversation in the local language; it is much easier to connect. More, in some situations you may even notice that while you can get a nice job speaking just English, moving up the ladder is more likely to require greater proficiency in the local language. Leadership, communication, goal-setting or career planning are some skills that can also significantly impact your personal and professional experience abroad.

Hence, consider enrolling in language courses or professional development programs to stay competitive.

Tip #4: Invest in Personal Development

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Pitfall #5: Neglecting Work-Life Balance

Failing to prioritise work-life balance and setting boundaries can lead to burnout, impacting both your professional performance and personal well-being abroad.

Many of us move abroad for work and we often feel the pressure to deliver at a very high level, maybe better than ever, better than anyone else; proving that we were worthy of that opportunity! However, this can easily go down a slippery slope. Your employer is unlikely to ever say 'don’t work more', especially if you are working extra time for free. It is your responsibility to set limits, to show dedication and professionalism without compromising your well-being and your right to rest and relaxation or family and me time. Their interests and yours are in apparent contradiction here, so safeguard yourself! (In reality of course, if you get sick or burnt-out the company also loses a lot) You need time to recharge and you deserve time for other dimensions of your life!

(By the way, if you are working late in the Netherlands, you are more likely to hear a colleague asking you if you’re having any trouble performing your work in your normal hours, than any sort of the ‘praise’ you’d expect to hear in other cultures).

In short, it is crucial to establish clear boundaries between work and personal time, to engage in recreational activities, and ensure you allocate time for rest and relaxation. A balanced lifestyle is key to sustaining long-term success.

Tip #5: Balance Your Work & Life

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Pitfall #6: Failing to Manage Your Finances

Poor financial planning, budgeting and oversight can lead to financial stress, affecting both your career and personal life abroad. Research the cost of living in your new location (housing, transportation, and everyday expenses), create a realistic budget tailored to your new environment, and monitor your spending.

I often use a ‘lifestyle calculator’ to support my clients who are considering moving to a new country or just making career changes that could have a potential financial impact in their lifestyle (I’ve use this myself, before I started my career as a coach). Understand what are essential/unavoidable costs and which are optional and you could live without (or with less) if it was for something more important. But dare to also draw your ‘dream lifestyle budget’; how much would it cost?

Financial stability provides a solid foundation for a successful expatriate experience, and many countries will not offer you any assistance (yet) if you have just arrived and have not yet contributed to their national systems.

Tip #6: Plan & Manage Finances Wisely

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Pitfall #7: Avoiding Cultural Adjustment

Some of us move abroad just a few years, some for a lifetime (whether that was the initial plan or not). Whichever the case, the fact is that disregarding cultural norms or traditions can offend locals, create barriers in professional relationships, and prevent you from feeling part of the community. Building a new social network is vital.

I have joined local awareness raising groups and events (ex: about fair trade, in Brussels) or a Repair Café in the Netherlands – both to get to know more locals and start practicing the language –, as well as an international Rotary Club with mostly expat members to have some more socialisation moments and work together on community projects meaningful to us. It can also be quite fun to attend local events (from the market day to the national holidays and celebrations) or even watch a local football match live (ok, you might never see me in this one 😉).

Do attend local events, join clubs or groups that align with your interests, and reach out to both expatriates and locals. This helps combat loneliness and enriches your understanding of the local culture. Embrace the new culture by participating in local traditions, learning the language, and respecting social norms – and remember none of this requires you to give up those from your home country which you really enjoy.

Tip #7: Embrace the New Culture (You Don’t Need to Forget Yours!)

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Pitfall #8: Resisting Career Transitions

Avoiding opportunities for career changes or advancements can stagnate your professional growth and limit your potential in the expat community. Be open to exploring new career paths, roles, or industries. In fact, you might not have any alternative, at least in time…

If our parents' generation was still able to follow one single career path, we and younger generations will no longer have such a linear road; instead we are all more likely to go through several different careers (not just jobs) before we retire. A new country (given its job market and work culture) may open up new doors to careers (and career steps) you had not tried before, and whether you like it or not some jobs will disappear as a result of progress and technology, while new unforeseen ones will be created: 15 years ago who knew you could work in App-development or AI programming?!

Adapting to the dynamic job market can uncover new opportunities and propel your career forward in ways that even you have not expected 😊 Don’t be afraid of it: consider it, make your choices, plan for it and implement your steps. Make it consciously and intentionally.

Tip #8: Navigate Career Transitions Intentionally

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Pitfall #9: Overlooking Self-Care

Failing to address homesickness & not paying enough attention to creating (new) routines, including around sleep, exercise and other forms of rest & fun in your new surroundings will affect both your physical and mental well-being – and thus your performance – while abroad.

If there is an emergency on an airplane, they tell you to put your own mask on first and only then help others. In life it is much the same. Some of us can actually put others (everybody else?) above ourselves; you probably think this is kind, respectful and what is expected of you. The truth is that if you are not taking care of yourself, you can’t expect others to do so and you won’t be able to be there (fully) for others when they actually need you.

Start with the basics: get enough sleep! Enough and good quality sleep (check some extra advice here). For more than 20 years, I was convinced I was an insomniac and nothing could be done about it… until I started respecting some simple rules and, suddenly, I can now usually sleep like a baby! You can too.

In addition, some form of physical exercise is essential. If you’re too new and don’t want yet to join a gym or club, just start by walking around the neighbourhood; it will also help you socialize, get to know what else is available nearby and create an opportunity to admire the local landscape and architecture. This is how I started back in Brussels – actually, what eventually got me to find a job there and become a Chief Executive – but that’s another story!. Now, in nice sunny days, I love to go for long walks, but during the year I keep practicing my Tai Chi/Qigong and going to the gym.

This is not an option: you need to prioritise your well-being by maintaining a healthy work-life balance and staying active.

Tip #9: Invest Regularly in Your Well-being!

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Pitfall#10: Isolating Yourself from Support

Neglecting to seek mentorship, guidance or support from experienced expats or professional networks can hinder your ability to navigate challenges effectively. For example, it took me more than 5 years to hear about ACCESS-Netherlands, an organisation of expats providing support and lots of information to expats in the Netherlands; I could have saved so much time and worries if I had looked for support and not simply presumed that “I’m here by myself and I’ll have to figure it out by myself” (how stupid of me 😉!). It turns out they also have a network of trainers, who are now my peers and colleagues, and their volunteer helpdesk teams were crucial to me especially during Covid times to keep sane and connected to a social community…

Connect with local and international communities, do seek advice from seasoned expatriates, and build a support network (it can work both ways, you can help others too!). These connections can provide invaluable insights and assistance; sometimes lifetime friendships and professional relationships.

Tip #10: Seek Mentorship and Support

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As I’d said above, moving to a new country is both exciting and challenging. By being mindful of these common pitfalls and taking proactive steps to address them, you can enhance your experience. As an international professional, navigating a new cultural context requires patience, empathy, resilience and flexibility. And, by proactively managing both your career & personal life, you can maximize the rewards and opportunities of the expat experience, leading to a fulfilling and successful experience abroad. Thriving expats! Success and happiness; not one at the expense of the other…

Important Note: Yes, you do need to take responsibility for your actions, instead of just going with the flow and hoping for the best, hoping the universe will show you the way and all you’ll need to do is follow it blindly. You need to accept the responsibility - and thus the power - of designing your own life and then using the flow to get you there! As somebody else said, “only dead fish go with the flow” 😉 When you are trying something with purpose, there can be no failure, even it what you tried did not deliver the results you were expecting.

Navigate Proactively to Maximize Your Rewards: Combine Expat Professional Success And Personal Happiness!

If you’d like to know more about any of this, just reach out, get in contact!😊 I might be able to help!