Why Not Reaching Your Full Potential Might Actually Be a Good Thing

Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed because you feel you’re not using your full potential? Most of us have been there. And I think the pressure is even bigger when you are an expat...

You might be expecting me to go on now about how important it is to reach your full potential… but what if I say that’s BS?! ;) I actually decided to write a bit more about all this after discussing this issue with a client not so long ago and realising it's importance.

In today’s culture of self-optimisation and constant improvement, we’re bombarded with the idea that we should always strive for more – more success, more productivity, more achievement. The message is clear: if you’re not reaching your full potential, you’re somehow failing. But let’s pause for a moment. What if pushing ourselves to the absolute limit isn’t the only path to a fulfilling life? What if not reaching your full potential is actually a good thing?

The Pressure of "Maximising Potential"

The idea of "maximising potential" can feel like a never-ending treadmill – exhausting and unsustainable. We’ve all heard phrases like, “you’re not living up to your potential” and “you could do more”. While meant to motivate, these statements often pile on the pressure and guilt :( And this pressure is real: I've heard it from my clients and other international professionals, and researchers have found that constantly striving for unreachable or perfectionistic goals can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and anxiety.

In fact, studies from renowned psychologist Carol Dweck at Stanford University show that when we adopt a fixed mindset and focus solely on performance goals – trying to prove our abilities over and over – we lose sight of the journey and become overwhelmed by the fear of not measuring up. But success doesn’t always have to be about hitting arbitrary peaks. Sometimes, it’s about taking the foot off the gas.

Why Less Can Be More

Here’s the thing: life is more than a race to the top. And while it’s great to aim high, striving to reach 100% of your potential in every area of life, all the time, isn’t realistic – or healthy. In fact, constantly pushing yourself can lead to diminishing returns, especially when it starts to harm your physical and mental well-being. Research shows that periods of recovery and balance are crucial for long-term productivity and happiness. If we’re always focused on maximising our potential, we might miss out on other important aspects of life – relationships, health, hobbies, and joy. I've been there: giving 110% at work... and thus having -10% for everything else :(

Instead of chasing an idealised version of “your best self,” consider the possibility that living at 80% is perfectly okay. Go for "Good enough"!

This might give you more time for things that genuinely matter: taking care of your mental health, being present for loved ones, or simply enjoying life without the pressure to always achieve more. By focusing on what’s essential and prioritising well-being over perfection, you’re actually aligning yourself with a more sustainable version of success.

Rethinking Success

We often assume that success means reaching the top, whether it’s in our careers, personal achievements, or even social status. But is that really the full picture? I've been at the top and all I found were exhaustion and lot's of questions...

Positive psychology tells us that real fulfilment comes not from constantly pushing the limits, but from aligning our lives with our core values. What if, by not chasing “maximum potential” in one area, you’re actually opening space for more balanced success in others?

Maybe not becoming the absolute best in your career or field leaves room for you to be an excellent parent, to indulge in creative pursuits, or to foster meaningful relationships. What if staying at 80% allows you to live a more well-rounded life, free from the all-encompassing stress of chasing after the next big goal?

Check my Wheel of Life exercise (or read about it here), and see if you're giving too much of your energy at attention to one area of life at the expense of others that also really matter!

Embracing Progress, Not Perfection

Next time you feel guilty for not "living up to your potential", consider this: it’s perfectly fine to be content with where you are now. I have been a Chief Executive and now I'm 'just a Coach'; yet I would NOT go back, I am happier now! :)

Growth doesn’t have to be linear, nor does it need to be extreme, whether you are living in your home country or abroad. Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to embrace balance, be kind to yourself, and recognise that you’re doing just fine.

Rather than constantly aiming for perfection, aim for progress. Life is not a competition, and slowing down can often be the best thing for your long-term happiness and well-being. So, give yourself permission to redefine what success looks like – it may not involve reaching your full potential, and that’s more than okay.

Let's celebrate that! :)